A Life Well Lived

Etc …

All kitted out in Ma’s handiwork!

Sea swimming at Scarborough

My glamorous sister Doreen in her taffeta dress

And a few memories that don’t seem to fit anywhere:-

Sitting on a bench at Kenwood, sharing a bar of chocolate with a squirrel.

Eating bar-b-cued sardines at a wayside stall in the Semering Mountains.

Travelling in the back of an open topped lorry over the Brenner Pass; it was full of watermelons and I was given a knife, big smile and full permission to eat by the driver, Christian.

Keeping control when birthing Rebecca; breech births needs the Mother to go against every instinct and I was well schooled by Maggie Brant. I listened, learn and did an excellent job.

Smelling the air Seville at orange blossom time; the streets are lined with orange trees and , come April, Seville just smells terrific!

The joy of having loved ones around my dining table. I love to cook for friends and family and never tire of the post prandial chat.

Memories of my Sister Joan’s whistling. She was really great, could do any tune and could always embellish with trills, feathers and furbelows. When asked how she did it, she had no answer. I just do it …

Listening to open throat singers at Lacock Abbey: a most amazing sound. From Portugal?

Eating outside!  Staying in a fremdenhaus just outside Vienna I was surprised to be directed outside for breakfast,  yes, we ate in the garden, and, in England in 1961 this was unheard of!  I loved it and still try to garden-dine whenever I can.

The joy of hearing the rustling sound of my Sister Doreen’s taffeta dresses. She was such a superstar, although she was deaf, she was superconfident, everyone’s friend and most of all, glamorous!  She was a great Ballroom dancer and looked the part, red lipstick, Gordon Moore,s special toothpaste, hair permed via Tony and those wonderful “shot” taffeta dresses.

My Sister Joan was a great raconteur, she made things come alive and I benefitted when she had been to the pictures ie cinema. The following evening the film would be regurgitated to me and I loved it! The portrait of Dorian Grey was my all time favorite, so well told that to this day I’m not sure if I viewed it or just listened to Joan’s  rendition …

I still recall the  cries of baby David from upstairs and the disappointment I felt when I saw him. I was expecting a baa lamb and a baby was the last thing I was expecting!

The awful silence around our dinner table. It was like being in a nunnery after a vow of silence had been taken.

Failing my first driving test because I didn’t know what to do when I was caught at traffic lights on the Edgware Road and HALF of a funeral cortage had driven through. Is it okay to join in? Wait? Whatever, I failed for being indisicive. Quite right I was, and still would be today think …

The feeling of abject failure when the new neighbour turned up for tea!   I’d cajoled my Mother into arranging this as a new girl at school had just moved with her family to live across the green from us and her mother was deaf! I  started to encourage my Mother to invite her around for tea, they could be friends!!, The great day arrived and I was beside myself as soon as they arrived and became apparent that the mother was BSL user: my Mother had no knowledge of this language and so the four of us struggled to communicate at even the most basic level. After this visit we only ever saw them to wave at across the green. Another of my mighty plans gone to ruin.

The awful pain in my legs as we waited for the bus at the bottom of The Marsh. This was where we had to wait to catch the bus home after visiting my Sister Joan on Sunday afternoon. In the winter my bare legs ( no trousers for girls in those day, no long trousers for young boys either) gave me such pain, my Mother said they were “just growing pains”, but I could never understand why Pat didn’t get them. Mother said I’d  be tall …

My fear for the future when Suresh, the kindest man I’d ever met, was diagnosed with PPA (Primary Progressive Aphasia).  For this condition, which destroys the parts of the brain that controls speech and language, to fall upon this chatty, beautifully spoken, fluent in seven languages man was truly awful.  He accepted his fate with his usual good grace.  However hard it was for me it was always ten times worse for him. He missed the chatting and the cut and thrust of debate.  Never gave up, his palm pilot was a great help but nothing could help him when he wished to express his greatest fears his more intimate feelings, it was just so slow and latterly exhausting for him.  But, we still danced! Jazz on we would dance in the kitchen, in the garden,  anywhere and it brought us great joy, great slolice. I put on some jazz and can immediately engage with each of our favourites, where we danced them, who we were with etc etc. Happy memories.

My many and varied hobbies: I was an athlete, love to run fast, my best was 11.3 for the 100 yd dash. Broke the school record. I attended a gymnastic club ( free because I was talented) run by an Olympic gymnast, Mrs Pollard to us kids.  Learnt to swim in the Leeds and Liverpool canal; still swimming 20 lengths until Covid, swam weekly with my grandchildren. Started walking in my teens and loved the outdoors, rockclimbing was a passion in my teens and spent most weekends in Derbyshire as a member of UYPL ( Unitarian Young People’s League). Always enjoyed craft and needle work; I had a real hand loom ( given to me when it was obsolete at my primary school) could only make scarves, but I loved it!  Have knitted SO many garments for family and friends. Dancing; from country dancing as a small child, attending old time ballroom dancing sessions at 10 through to the many dances at Pudsey Baths, dinner dances, jazz sessions, belly dancing at WCC open day … Always a pleasure and so greatly missed. My love of gardening has been my passion! A daily occupation, I’ve created many gardens and loved them all. Finally painting: discovered very late in life, my Sister Joan died and left me her painting equipment and it seemed only right that I had a go … I became obsessed and love it to this day.