A Life Well Lived

What was/is your relationship with your siblings? Has this changed?

My glamorous sister Doreen in her shot taffeta dress.

Me, Doreen and Rita

Me and Joan in Scarborough, Joan cross with me because I was” being stupid” putting a metal spade up my sleeve!

Me, David and Pat

Me, Joan and Rebecca

Me and baby Michael

Me with Pat in our dotage …

We three

I was born the sixth child: one, Roy had died in infancy before I was born so I only knew of him via my Mother. So, I was the youngest of five girls; Joan, the eldest was 18 when I was born, Rita next then Doreen, then a hiatus that would have been Roy and then Pat, two and a half years older than me then, me, the spoilt baby of the family.

Growing up I was very aware of my Sisters and the help they gave me, that is to say, my big sisters, the three grown up girls. I have very little memory of Pat, only the constant comparisons from my Father and, it seemed, every school teacher at my three schools. Pat was clever and well behaved and was always held up as an example to me.

As an adult my relationship with Joan and Doreen grew closer, we were in constant touch via letters and visits and remained so until their deaths. Rita became almost a recluse, never accepting invitations or extending them. When she died, I wrote to Lauraine, her daughter,  saying how I regretted our distant relationship: she responded to my letter saying she always felt that I hadn’t given her Mother enough attention. However, on clearing out her Mother’s house, she had found dozens of letters, birthday cards and holiday postcards from me, trying to keep a friendship going. She never responded to any of my correspondence …

Pat and I were ever distant, we had nothing at all in common except our shared family, and neither of us felt the need for letters, phone calls or visits. That is until Covid 2019 brought us to our knees. Pat was on my mind when we were locked down and I was aware that she had none of her children nearby and was wondering how she was managing. I contacted her and asked if she would consider being my French pen pal?  I laid out the rules of engagement ie pick your own persona tell whatever narrative chosen and no correcting each others mistakes. To my delight she accepted and we conducted a fairy tale communication throughout the Covid duration. Since then Pat has telephoned me every Sunday evening and has had three visits with me in Essex. I think we are finally friends and I am delighted that we are in touch.